I received hundreds of suggestions on what to tell the designer who’s ex-boyfriend is jeopardizing her relationship with a new client.

A few days ago I wrote how she landed the client — and a $60,000 design fee — for designing the interior of his new 11,000 square foot home with seven bedrooms.

She met the client through his business partner, who happened to be her boyfriend at the time. Therein lies the problem.

Since she broke off their relationship, the ex-boyfriend has made her life miserable.  He has repeatedly raised doubts about her skills and criticized her in other ways to the client, his business partner, and urged him to replace her with another designer.

I didn’t have any easy answers for the designer, but hundreds of you did. Here’s a random sampling of your ideas:

I empathise…
The same thing happened with me, although it was my ex who recommended me to the client but it turned out very personal and a bit uncomfortable.

To secure the deal and prove herself a great designer in her own right she needs to prove her self, she’s already got a foot in the door hasn’t she, so she has nothing to lose if she gains back to clients confidence by designing and project managing 1 room for free..

I often do this then make back the money on the rest of the house. She can then show her skills and professionalism and move on from the difficulties with the boyfriend… I’d fight to keep the deal!!

Kind Regards,
Nikki Austin

Austin John Interiors
Spalding
Lincolnshire UK

XXXXX

In reading your email regarding the “new to return to the business” designer’s problem with an ex-boyfriend, etc., I think she should be very straight forward and confident with her client selling herself as the correct choice (if in fact she has the ability to fulfill the client’s needs for his new home). 

 Also, has she already received a retainer from this client?  That certainly affects her final decision, unless the retainer is tucked safely away and remains untouched.  She needs to be confident, and straight to the point regarding any issues between them. She needs to assure him that he has made the right decision to go with her. 

Unfortunately, too many times, if the designer does not have the respect of her client, Murphy’s Law will take place and the project will be a nightmare for her as well as her client.  This is especially true in situations where her boyfriend (whether current or an “x”) has recommended her. 

She needs to truly analyze the client and project and, if necessary, walk away from this one if she has serious doubts.
 
Nancy B. Cosentino
Island Interiors, Inc.
Dandridge, TN  

XXXXX

I do have two (2) solutions for your designer…and she should do both of them.
 
First, since she was a designer four years ago, she has satisfied clients.  She needs to ask them for written testimony to show her new client the quality of her work and service.

She could tell her prior clients that she is starting up again and she needs to update her portfolio.  PLUS, she offers them 1-2 hours of her time to do this….Then she has 3-4 possible clients to add to her restart of business.   Also, she will have more self confidence when she speaks to her prior clients and knows how they love her.

 
Second,  since the new client has 11k sq. ft.house and $60,000 design fee she should hire an assistant (Independent Contractor, that way when the project is over she won’t have to let the person go and pay unemployment!! I did that and I am speaking from experience…

However, now I still use the same assistant when I have work for her and she is not on my payroll) that can help her with the follow up and days when her confidence is low or doubting herself she will have someone to lean on…and when things get on overwhelm, she has a person that will back her…AND make her look more professional..to her client and x-boy friend…The x is only trying to sabotage her…

Advise her she needs practices some “positive” self talk every day!!!  She will do GREAT!!  

Michelle Eaton, ASID
Gold River, CA.

XXXXX

To answer your question about the client, exboyfriend and a problem, I would simply assure the client that business is business and if he is feeling confused about her work let her offer some referrals and show him some of the past work that she has done.  Slandering a person is always petty and makes the person doing the slandering look small. 

The client should see what he is doing because of the breakup.  If she was qualified enough to hire her before the breakup she is still qualified after. 

If the client still has doubts let the job go because it is going to be a headache right through the whole process and that is not fun no matter how much money is at stake. I hope this helps.
 
Margaret Brower
New York, NY

XXXXX

She needs to convince the client of her worth!  Make a case for herself and her value.  This will be good practice and she can hone those skills.  
 
Pamela Hatcher
DAVIS DESIGNS
Newburyport, MA

XXXXX

Isn’t this a legal issue – If the design fee retainer contract has already been signed then she would just need to endure the ‘harassment’ of her ex, continue to reassure her client and be extra vigilant in staying on top of deadlines, deliveries, installs and expenses. Slander, Libel, Defamation of Character all come to mind.

I suggest she contact an attorney and request he stop discussing her business with his partner. If she is able to handle the job and has excellent skills, business practices and references the client should be able to feel confident in an excellent design plan executed on time and on schedule per the contract.

However, if the business partner/client took her on as a ‘favor’ to his partner (her boyfriend) then this could just be a convenient excuse he is using to back out. From his point of view I’m sure his ‘decorating project’ isn’t worth losing his business partner over.

The contract and the actions of the designer will really be the only way to convince and reassure the client that the job will be completed to his satisfaction regardless of the opinion of the ex-boyfriend. As stated she broke off the relationship – I’m sure he is bitter and seeking some revenge.

 Christina Van Blake
Decor by Design Inspired Interiors
Dover, NH

XXXXX

 I would explain to the client the situation completely.  He is probably already aware they broke up and there may hard feelings on her ex boyfriends part.)

Explain that the relationship has ended but she has the utmost respect to him by transitioning into this job in a completely and totally professional way and that he should be confident that the job will be completed on time and with his best interest in mind.

Though in this situation the client may feel a loyalty to his business partner and this unfortunately may be the reason he is questioning her ability, the situation needs to be discussed immediately so she can move forward.

I would also ask her client “his” thoughts, breaking down that awkwardness he may be holding in. If indeed he feels he can’t work with her because of his relationship with his business partner, she should collect a partial feel for what she has put into the job thus far and move on.

Best, J. Cabrera
WWW.CLSTUDIOINC.COM
Florida

XXXXX

 Maybe she needs to get comfortable w/walking away.  I believe if you can do this in your head, it frees one up to take charge of a situation based on confidence, not fear. 

 Fear of losing a fee always seems to lead to poor decisions, probably because fear is set up as the stronger energy.  So once she is ready to let go, call the client and ask him why he hired her in the first place.  Was it because of the ex-connection, or because of her expertise. 

If she can recall her first meeting, she can restate what she understood was the reason for being hired and verify if that still holds true w/the client.  If she finds a lot of doubt coming her way from the client, I really recommend walking away, because that $60,000 might turn into a nightmare if the client becomes difficult and blames her for anything that doesn’t satisfy him. 

  I know walking can sound scary, but being “needy” sends a terrible unspoken message. 

Kathleen Beres Interiors
Santa Fe, NM

XXXXX

I think she should sit down with the client and discuss the situation. I think she should offer to cancel the contract and refund any deposits, less her time for what she has already done. If there is this much angst at the beginning od the job, it certainly won’t get any better.

I would also suggest writing a stern letter or visiting with her ex and telling him to stop being a jerk, or legal action will ensue. I have tried to work with clients who weren’t happy in the beginning and it hasn’t worked out well. Good luck – there are more ideal clients out there for her. 

Erica Kalkofen
Winter Park, CO

XXXXX

Send him my name and info! Just kidding
She needs to call him into her office and separate the two happenings as they do not relate to each other one is personal and the other is professional. Explain to the guy what a great firm and vision she has for him and would hope he can see the bigger picture

Phil Norman
Torrance, CA.

XXXXX

In regard to your client’s issue, she should address the problem, head on, before she proceeds with the project. She should sit down with the client and explain that the ex-boyfriend was not happy about the break-up and that she is concerned that he may not be presenting her in the most positive light.

 Explain how important it is that the client feel totally confident about his decision to hire her, before they proceed with the project. She should ask if, at this point, he has any concerns that they can discuss. Then ask, if it would help him feel reassured about his decision, if he spoke to some of her other previous clients.

I know this is uncomfortable to do, but otherwise she is going to wind up addressing these issues throughout the entire project.

Best Regards,

Heather Higgins, ASID, NYCID
Higgins Design Studio, LLC
New York NY

 

Fred Berns provides sales and marketing training and coaching to interior design professionals worldwide.

I did a Coach Call recently with an interior designer seeking an easy solution to a tough problem.

I don’t have one. Do you?

She landed a client and a $60,000 design fee for designing the interior of his new 11,000 square foot home with seven bedrooms . The project,  her first one  since she relaunched her business after four years as a stay-at-home single mom, is scheduled to begin in January.

She met the client through his business partner, who happened to be her boyfriend at the time. Therein lies the problem.

Since she broke off their relationship, the ex-boyfriend has made her life miserable.  He has repeatedly raised doubts about her skills and criticized her in other ways to the client, his business partner, and urged him to replace her with another designer.

As a result, the designer reports, her client has become uncertain and confused.

Suggestions, anyone, about what she can — or should — do?

From time to time, I hear from design professionals who are discouraged by the sluggish economy.

Here’s a note from an interior designer in Calgary, AB. — and my response to him:
Hi Fred,

I enjoyed your Big Splash, Little Cash teleseminar today…always a good investment of time.

I am finding it a struggle lately to stay positive and remain focused….so your nuggets of information are always welcome and are spot on.
 
Notwithstanding the fact that I totally concur with your ideas, I still am struggling to remain positive and am having a real hard time keeping ‘up’…..I even had a vacation last week and while I enjoyed it I have come back to work and feel that no matter what I do it is not making a difference to sales.

We have adopted lots of your ideas and they are good, so its not for lack of trying….Your Winston Churchill quote is good in that it says to Never Give up…I do have tenacity and drive…However, I feel I need to hear another ‘overcomer’ story……

Was there ever a time in your career when you felt low and could not see results of your efforts, and because of that it was difficult to remain positive, and then some thing you did or some thing that happened turned things around?

 
Hi, _____,

If misery loves company, be assured that your colleagues around the world feel your pain and share your frustration. Design professionals from Dallas to Dubai are struggling with the glacial pace of this economic recovery.

I commend you for your “tenacity and drive,” both valuable tools in times like this. In any times, for that matter.

This is, after all, a test — a test of our resolve, our persistence and our courage. Too many design professionals are failing the test, giving up and getting out now that the going is tough.

Pass that test — as you must and as you will — and you’ll emerge leaner, meaner and much more prepared than your competitors for the better times that lie ahead.

I laughed when you asked if ever there’s been a time in my career when I felt low and could not see results of my efforts, and because of that it found it difficult to remain positive.

I laughed because I face that challenge in so many ways, on so many days. So does every entrepreneur, every business owner, every successful professional in every field.

It’s times like these we have to dig deep, realize that we’ve faced and surmounted challenging times before and will again.

Recent challenges in my own business have me “talking to myself” (reciting affirmations when I awake and before I go to sleep such as “I have no time for worry, no time for regret, no time for fear” and “I’m an Inner Winner who is positive in my perspective”).

And those challenges have changed my reading habits. Time that used to be spent reviewing the newspaper is now being spent on books like Jack Canfield’s “The Success Principles” and on “Success” Magazine.

It’s always darkest before the dawn, _____. Know that the sun will shine on our industry again soon, and that, when it does, we will be stronger and wiser and better able to cope the next time adversity confronts us.

I’ve heard it said that life’s challenges and setbacks are the “measure of a man.”

Knowing you as I do, I am certain you can — and you will–measure up.

all the best to you, _____!

Fred

This is it.

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This is your last chance to register to participate in, or download a FREE program that will absolutely, positively transform your business and career in the months ahead.

Now’s the time to sign up, if you haven’t already done so, to take part in, or download Tuesday’s tele-seminar called: Big Splash, Little Cash: Low Cost, No Cost Kickbutt Marketing in Challenging Economic Times.

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Listen in, or download this program, and you’ll learn low cost, no cost marketing steps you can take to dramaticlaly increase your design business this Fall.

The program, brought to you by Blind, Corners & Curves, the nation’s foremost supplier of fully operable blinds for specialty shaped windows, will teach you millon dollar marketing on a shoestring budget.

The Big Splash, Little Cash

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tele-seminar is set for Tues., Sept. 29 at 11 a.m. – noon, Eastern time (10 a.m. Central, 9 a.m. Mountain, 8 a.m. Pacific).

You won’t have to leave your home, office or showroom to get tune into the tele-seminar, and get moneysaving marketing ideas. Or, you can order and listen to the program at your leisure.

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how to make a  maximum marketing impact for a minimal investment.

Don’t miss this opportunity to get your design business and career on track – on the FAST track toward better clients, bigger contracts and greater profits.

Don’t miss this opportunity to tune into, or download the  Big Splash, Little Cash tele-seminar.

For information and registration: http://fredberns.com/BigSplashProgram/.

I will speak and serve as a master of ceremonies at the November conference of the International Federation of Interior Architects and Designers(IFI) in Dubai, U.A.E. съемки порно

In addition, I’ll be a featured speaker at INDEX, the Middle East’s largest interiors trade show, also in November in Dubai.

How design professionals can thrive, rather than merely survive these challenging times will be the topic of my presentation on Nov. 9 for IFI. трахать видео

IFI http://www.ifiworld.org is an organization representing 70 member groups and 65,000 interior designers in 45 countries.

I’ll then serve as MC at the biannual IFI Design Congress, which will include exhibitions, competitions, student workshops and master classes.

I’ll present two seminars on boosting sales in a down economy later in the week at INDEX,http://www.indexexhibition.com/.

INDEX last year attracted 30,000 trade visitors and industry professionals from around the world.

I’ll offer personal coaching and mentor group sessions, and make my books and audio programs available at both the IFI and INDEX events. онлайн порно жена

This will mark my second appearance in two years before design professionals assembled in Dubai.

I spoke in 2008 to Middle East design pros and industry partners at a conference of the Association of Professional Interior Designers. http://apid.ae/

For more information about IFI 2009 Dubai: http://ifi2009dubai.org/about-IFI09-Dubai.htm

You can learn a lot on a bicycle seat.

Especially when you occupy it for 579 miles over seven days, from Louisville, CO. to Jackson Hole, WY.

Lessons learned on a solo bike trip….

People are Kind. Hot, hungry and exhausted after a 65 mile climb up Colorado’s Poudre Canyon, you encounter a family of four at a rest stop.

They share their fruit, energy bars and drinks. Says the little boy, all of about 7: “You can have my bubble gum, if you like.”

The Simplest of Strategies Work in the Remotest of Places.

  The guy at the counter greets you at the Muddy Gap, WY. gas station by saying:

 ”Welcome to Muddy Gap. We have clean rest rooms kept clean by that tip jar on that counter.”

 You and everyone else stuff money in that jar, and it overflows with coins and dollars. Bottom Line: “Ask and you receive. Don’t, and you won’t.”

You Need Not Be Alike to Be Connected. You don’t have much in common with the bearded, leather-clad motorcyle dude with the pierced eyebrows and pony tail at the corner table in the Walden, CO. coffee shop.

But you have a great conversation over breakfast.

Seek a New View. Fighting 126 miles of stiff headwinds from Rawlins to Lander, WY, you can turn miserable moments into magical ones.

  You need only shift your focus away from the wind, and toward the magnificent mountains and sprawling prairies on either side.

Accept Adversity. You make peace with that relentless headwind once you realize that strong winds live in Wyoming, and you’re merely passing through. You’re invading their space, not vice versa.

Big Joys Come from Little Pleasures — like soaking a tired body in 120-degree hot springs in Saratoga, WY.

A Good Breakfast Goes a Long Way. Start your day with oatmeal, yogurt, fruit, tea and  nuts, and you get lots of pedal power.

Positive Self Talk Foils Fears, especially when steering an unsteady bike down a mountain pass in the dark and chill of early morning.

There’s Power in Perspective. Career challenges and pressing personal issues are irrelevant when you’re bucking headwinds, or fixing a flat tire along an interstate.

There’s  Serenity in the Storm. Thunderstorms are terrific, when you watch them from a window of a country store.

There’s joy in the Journey. You can discover plenty of pleasure en route to your destination.  

 Your Spouse is Special. To let me pursue my passion, and bicycle off into the middle of nowhere — well, Ellen Berns, you’re a gem.

Success is Sweet. Achieve something you work and train and prepare months for, and you feel that life can’t get much better.  

 

  Fred Berns is a speaker, trainer and coach in the interior design industry.

Get outta town.

If the economy has you down, if you’re severely challenged by your design business, if you’re burnt out, get outta town.

If you’re uncertain where to go from here, go there.

“There” can be a mountain resort, or a sandy beach, or a nice town a few hours away.

Get away for a few weeks, a few days, or a even a few hours. Just…get outta of town.

Nothing can give you more clarity about your business than time away from your business.

That means time away from your cellphone and email and blackberry and every other link to your workaday world.

A recent bicycle trip to Jackson Hole, WY reminded me how renewing and energizing time away can be.

I was so busy enjoying myself on the 579-mile, week-long ride — and the subsequent week I spent with Ellen and Zach in Yellowstone and Teton national parks — that I didn’t have much time to think about business.

Nevertheless, I came back filled with fresh perspectives and exciting ideas about my speaking and coaching business.

And I returned with solutions to some challenges which had perplexed me for some time.

Time away is great for your mind, body and soul. And it’s great for your business, too.

America’s richest consumers are holding off this year on major remodeling projects and on new home purchases.

That unsurprising fact is included in a new survey by the American Affluence Research Center (http://www.affluenceresearch.org/ Jungle 2 Jungle ipod ), a marketing  firm that studies the wealthiest 10% of U.S. households.

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It notes that only about 10% of the affluent are planning major remodels this year.  Compare that to 34% in 2005, the biggest year for remodeling by wealthy homeowners.

Remodeling plans for the group are less than half of what they were last year at this time.

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A Beautiful Mind film The Center also notes that “plans to acquire either a primary residence or a vacation home have declined to record lows.”

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Birds of America buy

The report is based on a survey of households with an average annual income of $290,000, an average net worth of $3.1 million, average investable assets of $1.4 million and an average primary residence value of $1.2 million.

Thanks for calling The Colorado Gift Basket Company.* May I help you?”

- – “Yes, I’d like to order a gift basket for my coaching client in Toronto.”

“OK, fine. May I get your name and phone number?”

- – “Fred Berns. 303-665-6688.”

“Ok, then. I’ll pass this onto Stephanie in sales, and she’ll call you right back.”

- – “Oh…any way I can place this order with you?

“No, I’m Angie, the owner, and that’s not my department. Stephanie in sales handles the orders. I’ll have her call you right back.”

- – “Gee, Angie, I’m kind of in a hurry here. Can you possibly help me?

“Yes, I’ll give your name to Stephanie in sales, and she’ll call you right back.

- – “But I have my credit card information right here. I can give it to you right now.”

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“I’m sorry, Stephanie in sales handles the orders. I’ll have her call you right back.”

–”Uh…OK. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Bye now.”

That was 11 days ago. I’m still waiting for “Stephanie in sales” to call me right back. That’s why I placed my order with another company.

I’m thinking that “Angie, the owner” doesn’t get it.

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She doesn’t get that hers is just one of 233,000 Google listings for companies that sell Colorado gift baskets.

And she doesn’t get that you don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression.

If you are, or work for, an owner like Angie, we need to talk.

We need to discuss some rules for doing business in a tough economy — or in any economy, for that matter.
Rule #1: Sales is your department. Call yourself a designer or an architect or a builder, if you like, but first and foremost, you’re a salesperson.

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Rule #2: Customers can buy elsewhere the design services and products you sell. Easily.

Rule #3: Never, ever make a buyer wait.

 

* Names in this report were changed.

 

Fred Berns speaks on sales and marketing — as well as customer service — to the interior design industry.

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You have only six days to submit your entry in the contest for the best “only” commercial.

The deadline is 11:59 p.m. on Fri., May 15.

You can win a prize worth $300 for sharing with me a one sentence message about your design business or career that contains the word “only.”

Cromwell trailer Please email your entry to me at Fred@FredBerns.com.

The Postman film If I select your “only” commercial, you’ll receive a free copy of the Superstar Selling System for Design Professionals, the ONLY audio training collection focused on how design pros can double their sales.

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It sells at FredBerns.com for $300.

“Only” is the million dollar marketing word for design professionals. No word differentiates you better, nor attaches more value to you.

“Only” is the word. Coming up with your only statement (as in, “I’m the only design professional in my area who…”) is what this contest is all about.

As you create your statement, consider:

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+ Your awards

+ How else you’ve been honored

+ Your design specialty

+ Your client niche

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+ How many clients you’ve served — and where

+ Where you’ve been published

+ How else your work’s been featured

+ Where you’ve spoken or taught

+ Services only you offer

+ Products only you offer

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+ Former career(s)

+ Educational degree(s)
Fred Berns is an Interior Design Industry speaker, coach and trainer.